Toddler anatomy 101

"How can you pee with your butt?"

That was the burning question Aaron posed to me this afternoon as I sat down to take a piss. He's recently become extremely puzzled as to why I sit down on the toilet when I pee, while he employs the vertical position. And he should be puzzled, sometimes I wonder if it's possible myself and dream of a world where I wouldn't have to rest my ass cheeks on a disgusting public toilet seat - I can't do the hover squat, I've tried many times in vain.

Anyway, so I chose to hit the issue head-on with the cold hard facts. I said, "because Mommy doesn't have a penis like you do." and I pointed to the general area to give him a hint of what one of his body parts I was referring to, and he gave me this exasperated look. The same look that he gives me when I refer to a whale as just a whale and not a humpback whale or when I say, "look at that pretty bird" and he says, "that's not a bird, it's a scarlet macaw" like I'm some kind of ignorant clod (Thank you Diego). Then he says "That's my belly", because pretty much in his mind anything between the nipple and the knee is his "belly".

After three failed attempts I still couldn't get him convinced that it was anything besides his belly, and he got bored with the conversation and went off to do something else. Hopefully we'll get it all straightened out at some point in time. I'd hate for him to one day say to a girl, I'll show you my belly if you show me your butt.