Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Hike up your stockings Granny

I wear trouser socks 5 days a week. It’s shameful really. I never really thought of myslef as the trouser sock type. However I find them to be the perfect sockware for my work attire. They’re thin enough that my feet don’t get uncomfortable in these god awful work shoes I wear and they don’t fade like a cotton sock would, plus I think they look professional.

But here’s my problem. The damn things keep falling down on me. Maybe it’s because I buy the cheapest ones I can find. Maybe it’s because the girth of my upper calves is more than the nylon can handle. But no matter the reason, by the end of the day I end up feeling like my great Grandmother.

When I was in elementary school my brother and I would spend our afternoons between school and the time Mom got off work at my Great Grandmother’s house. To be honest I don’t remember much about her personality as she wasn’t really a hands-on Grandma and we usually played amongst ourselves. All I remember is that she made the driest cake in the entire world and her support pantyhose were always rolled down. They looked like little life preservers made especially for her ankles. Just mention the woman’s name and that’s the first image that pops in my head - that roll of nylon around her ankle – oh that and she always gave us underwear for our birthdays. Imagine trying to sound grateful for that gift year after year!

So any correlation between myself and my Great Grandmother doesn’t in general make me feel real good about my recently one year older self. So I think next time I hit the store I might try to find some different socks. Maybe something trendy like argyle – argyle is “in” now right? I’m so out of the loop. I might as well order my dentures now.

2 comments:

Aunt Becky said...

Bwahahahaha!

Don't forget the Depends!

Alicia said...

Hey! I have that same problem with knee highs. I thought the problem was that my calf muscles are too small. I have thin ankles and calves. I don't have a clue how to keep trouser socks from falling down.