Tuesday, April 8, 2008

If I had a million dollars . . .

One of my favorite songs of all time is “If I had a Million Dollars” by the Barenaked Ladies. Why? Because it’s catchy and it’s campy and it’s just plain fun. My favorite line is “But not a real green dress that’s cruel.” and if you don’t know what song I’m talking about you should feel ashamed of yourself and you should go get it right now and put it on your I pod or your cheap generic MP3 player until you have all the words memorized like I do.

Anyway, the point of this post is that I heard that song the other day, and then as normal, had it rattling in my brain for about 3 days afterwards, intermittently singing out lyrics “maybe a nice Chesterfield or an Ottoman” at random moments like some poor soul with Turrets. And I started thinking – what would I do if I had a million dollars. And not the boring stuff like pay off all my debt and set up trust funds for my kids etc. etc, but the fun stuff like buying a miniature pony so I could name her Buttercup and paint little stars and rainbows on her rump and braid her mane.

Here's what came to the top of my list:
I would buy a gigantic Pinpression thing – you know the things with hundreds of little pins and when you stick your hand in it or your face it leaves the impression of it on there.

I can’t resist sticking my face in these when I see one at the store even though I know it’s likely that some toddler probably pulled his hand out of his diaper and stuck it in there a mere 5 minutes earlier.

They have a huge one at our local science center – it’s like 7 foot by 8 foot and I’d buy one even larger if I had a million dollars. I’d make it span the entire wall and we could spend hours with it every day: “Look, I’m walking like an Egyptian, How about this one, it looks like the guy on the little crosswalk sign, Here, look at this one – (pushing in pins to make a hump on my back) now I look like Quasi Moto – Sanctuary, Sanctuary!”

We could have big parties and instead of playing normal, boring Pictionary we could play Pinpression Pictionary – “it’s your butt, no mooning – the moon - Full moon!” “Yes!”

What would you buy just for fun if you had a million dollars?


Shawna said...

"I'd buy you're love."

I would set aside a lot of money for therapy for my child to undo all the damage I will do in rasing it. I fell this will be a much better gift than a trust fund or new car.

Becky said...

A gigantic velcro wall and some velcro suits. Hilarious.