Friday, May 11, 2007

Wildebeast Sandals

I attended a wedding for my husband’s cousin in April and purchased a new outfit, complete with new fashionable black wedge sandals for the occasion. I was slightly hesitant to buy the sandals in the first place because they were rather loftier than I usually like, but I figured “hey, that’s the style nowadays and they’re on sale so what the heck”. The picture is not my actual sandal but a similar pair to give you an idea. Mine are slightly higher and the straps are not as thick so as to dig into the flesh of my foot much deeper.

I’ve twisted my ankle twice, almost fell on my ass once and in general have suffered quite a bit of discomfort. Why am I still wearing them you may ask? Well because they’re the only pair of black sandals I have and now that it’s Capri weather I’m in desperate need of black sandals to coordinate with my outfits.

However, a new phenomenon has occurred with these sandals which has finally convinced me that they must die. I’ve worn them to work and walking across the hallowed marble floors of my office building creates a sound effect very akin to a herd of wildebeasts trudging across the hard plains of the savannah. In general I’m not fond of attracting attention to myself in public settings, and certainly not fond of doing so by impersonating a large grazing mammal.

The wedge part of the sandal is made up of some odd substance not unlike the material that bowling pins are made out of and it produces an echoing “clippety clop” like sound. Then since there is no strap up around the ankle, they’re kind of like a wedge flip flop and you get that loveley “fwap” sound with every step as the sandal tries to catch up with your foot. Clip clop fwap, clip clop fwap, clip clop fwap . . . and take that times two.

Now you would have thought I would have been aware of this phenomenon, having worn these sandals on several different surfaces. However, it’s easy not to notice such things in public places, what with the whining/screaming of my children and the general rumble of everyday life, but here in this corporate tomb the sound of these shoes is like a Staind concert in the middle of a monastery – fairly noticeable.

Payless here I come.

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