Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Asshole Class

I’m walking the dog this morning around 6 a.m. and as I come up to an intersection with a well traveled main road in my neighborhood two boys, maybe 16, cruising around in their daddy’s maroon Buick LeSabre, roll down the window and one of them shouts “FAT” and they just keep on driving.

Now first of all I’m taken aback because I usually get a “Fat Bitch”. Perhaps he was religious and preferred not to cuss. Or perhaps this wasn’t an insult. Maybe they just like to drive around and yell out the obvious traits of the people they see. I wish I’d been better prepared. If I had known we were playing that game I could have yelled back “INSECURE” or perhaps “HIS FATHER NEVER SHOWED HIM ENOUGH AFFECTION”. Maybe he thought that I didn't know I was fat and he was doing me a favor in letting me know? I am aware, and quite fine with my portly self so I guess he wasted his breath if that was his intention.

I was a little surprised by this at 6 a.m. I mean what are two kids doing up that early in the morning during summer vacation? The only thing I can come up with is that they were on their way to asshole class, which is obviously at the end of that street somewhere. It makes perfect sense because this is not the first time I’ve been such insulted on that particular street. This is actually the 3rd time. The first time was in the winter and these particular youths didn’t like my lovely striped scarf, I think I got a “nice scarf, bitch” on that particular occasion and then a “Fat Bitch” a few months later from someone else. Those were in the afternoon though and I was walking on the street parallel to them and had ample time to see them coming and to prepare my one finger response.

So it appears that class is held both in the morning and in the afternoon year round and they must get extra credit if they can show up and say that they insulted a perfect stranger on the way there.

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