Tuesday, July 24, 2007

An Expensive Change of Scenery

A couple weekends ago we took an extended weekend “vacation” in Minneapolis and I just now have gathered all my photos and thoughts to write about it. We took the kids so I don’t know that you can really call it a vacation – it was more like a really expensive change of scenery. We went to the Como Zoo and Conservatory on Saturday, IKEA and the Mall of America on Sunday and then hit the Minneapolis Zoo on Monday before we headed back home. I won’t bore you with the detailed account; rather I’ll just give you the highlights.

-Our very best friend Shawna came along with us. She thinks it’s because we love her but in all actuality it’s because she’s great with the kids and takes fabulous photos. It was like bringing along a nanny and a professional photographer!

-This was our first trip with “Big Boy Potty Trained Aaron” so we saw a lot of bathrooms and got to witness his first potty dance and public grabbing of his crotch while he squealed “I gotta PEE Momma!”. Oh and as an aside, I like the Amish people (they make wonderful pies) and they’re very nice, but after having to weave through a group of 20 of them while heading to the bathroom with Aaron, I really think they should reconsider that whole “no deodorant” thing, because it’s just not pretty.

-Muscle relaxers and me are not really a good mix, at least if I want to function. My back was spasming pretty good on Sat. so Shawna gave me one of her muscle relaxers on Sun. I was like the walking dead. I picked up something off a shelf in IKEA and I turn to Shawna, my hand shaking uncontrollably like an 80 year old with tremors and said “is this normal?” It also made my C-section scar tingle, which was fun. On the bright side, my back felt fabulous! (I did not operate any heavy machinery so don’t be alarmed) However, my judgment seemed to be slightly impaired as when I got home I noticed that several items I bought at IKEA turned out to be completely different than what I thought I had purchased.

-Always follow the arrows!! When we were at IKEA I noticed that people were really quite rude. They were giving us dirty looks when we were trying to maneuver our cart around the store and it was really starting to piss me off, and I was thinking that Minnesotans in general were asses and then Shawna discovered that we weren’t following the arrows. “What arrows?” I asked and then she pointed at this huge, spotlighted arrow on the floor of the store. For some reason (probably the drugs) I had not noticed the whole arrow phenomenon and the fact that they were all over the store to direct the flow of traffic.

-Take a big blob of jello and cover it with plastic wrap, throw it in the water and that’s what a sting ray feels like. They’re very sweet though, for a fish. We got to pet them at the aquarium underneath the Mall of America – was it worth the $16.50 per person? I’m still trying to figure that out.

-My husband CANNOT resist the lure of one of those carnival basketball games. The man’s got skills, you can’t deny it, but did we really need that batman mini basketball to add to Aaron’s collection of 10 other mini basketballs and toys he’s won at those things?

-Things learned at the zoo: a very large number of animals are either extinct or soon to become extinct and it’s all our fault (the guilt is included in the price of admission), Aaron is surrounded by exotic animals and yet is more fascinated with a drain,
food and beverage must, by federal law, at least double or possibly triple in price once they enter the zoo grounds, and my ass is larger than the backside of a bison – and a very big thank you to Shawna for photographing it and making me aware of that fact.
All in all it was a nice trip and we had a pretty good time. I’ll be starting my diet soon and may journal a little bit about it here on this blog. I think I’ll entitle it: “Bison Ass: andthe quest to become Shetland Pony Ass”.

1 comment:

Shawna said...

My favorite part of IKEA. Was after we discovered the arrow thingy, was that you had no sympthy for other people who wern't following the arrows. The same arrows we wern't follwoing. You would sit there and give them dirty looks just as we were glared at. I loved it!! When are we going again?? Don't you need to return that mirror?